How often have you peed your pants?

I was bored in the shower one day, and my thoughts drifted around. Eventually I thought, why not figure out how often people pee themselves, on average?

So I did.

First, let's establish that the average lifetime is 71 years old, and that the world population is about 7 billion(we'll just use that as the exact figure).

Then, I started off by looking for lifetime diaper usage.

These numbers from a NatGeo article were the best I could find. However, the majority say that parents will go through some 5,000 diapers during the first two years and just in general, more than these, so I'm really questioning the NatGeo article. The number just seems way too low, and if you've ever had a friend with a kid(hopefully, you have), then you might hear just how many diapers they go through. The article may have actually averaged not just disposable diapers, but a number of cloth diapers as well, or taken into account conditions in impoverished areas, leading to a lower average overall. It doesn't make sense to me, as I've heard and seen babies sometimes getting changed up to ten times a day, but we'll just stick with what we have.

So our average number of diapers is 3796 diapers per lifetime(diaper/life)(why am I trying to make units out of this. The problem is that one might assume that a baby could just poop, not pee as well, in the diaper. Well I don't really have any idea how to find numbers for that, so I'm just going to assume that pooping is always accompanied by peeing, although peeing may not be accompanied by pooping. So the 3796 diaper/life is also the same as 3796 pisses/71 years. Why I typed this whole argument is a mystery unto itself.

However, this does not take into account someone just pissing their pants because of some other reason, when they're older. Let's be conservative and say everyone's pissed their pants at least once in their adult lives. Of course they have, and of course some haven't, or at least, that's what they want you to think. So if all seven billion people have pissed their pants once, and the average life expectancy is 71 years, then  

7 billion pisses/71 years=98591549.2958 pisses per life

Wait, what? 

 ...Ok, er assuming that I didn't completely screw up the math, 

(98591549.2958 + 3796)/71 =1388666.45487 pants pissed/year
  
Well, congrats, I guess. The human race, as a whole, pisses 1.3 million pants per year. But we aren't finished. No, not yet.

We need to figure out how much you piss your pants.


(1388666.45487 pants pissed/year)/7 billion=0.00019838092 pants pissed/year/person

I have no clue where this math is going anymore.

Good night, everybody.