How many children/calorie do guys, er, release?

Sounds weird, right? Well, it sort of is.

So we need to figure out, on average, how many children per calorie a guy will ejaculate. Why? Because why not?

This page here says that the average number of sperm in an ejaculation is about 280 million sperm, the same as a rabbit, interestingly. Though, the article does start off talking about how you shouldn't use detergents in a vagina for birth control, it does have some sources, so it's credible enough. 

Fun fact! Bat sperm doesn't die for 135 days! In comparison, human sperm only lasts at most for 48 hours. Wasn't that fun?

Now the average numbers of calories used during masturbation was a little harder to get, because every time someone would ask the question online, other people start talking about how you shouldn't use masturbation for exercise, and just start spouting numbers without sources.

But I did find a reference to the Young People's Reproductive and Sexual Health & Rights Organization here. They do have a bunch of stuff on their questionably designed webpage, but it's not sorted. Searching them, others seem to echo that the YPRSHRO said that it is between 100 and 150 calories, but is that just them getting it from other webpages or has anyone actually pulled up the webpage and looked through it?

Anyway, we've got 280 million sperm, and lets say 125 calories. Simple division tells us that the average man comes out to 2,240,000 children per calorie. 

And by using this as a source for some more math, and that Hitler's regime, in total killed 11,501,250 people, an average man is literally 1.94 decihitlers/calorie, which is about 1/5 of a Hitler. Good job guys.

High five.